Bad At Finishing Things? Or is ‘Finished’ Overrated?
Bad at finishing things? Maybe the problem is how ‘finished’ is defined. Here’s why you may need to set your own definition of ‘finished’.
Key Takeaways
This is a story of an unfinished quilt.
At least, that’s how it looks at first glance.
In quilting circles, unfinished quilts are referred to as UFOs (unfinished objects). Not only are UFOs common for quilters, they’re almost considered a badge of honour.
But of course, in life outside of quilting circles, unfinished projects are more often than not a source of shame or derision, especially for dilettantes who juggle many different passions at once.
Right now, I’m working on a traditional, English paper-pieced hexagonal quilt. It’s made up entirely of 2-inch hexagons, all hand-basted onto the paper, then hand-stitched together.
I love the meditative nature of hand stitching and the fact I can do it while watch a movie or listen to a podcast. It’s my ultimate productive ‘fidget’ toy—it keeps my hands busy while I’m otherwise meant to be sitting still and silent.
But this quilt wasn’t really about making another bedspread.
My Quilting Project That’s Not a Quilting Project
The truth is, I had an addiction to a mobile game.
One of those repetitive sorting games like Candy Crush. As far as addictions go, it wasn’t too bad. I didn’t make any in-app purchases or spend any money.
I did, however, spend more hours playing this ridiculous game than I feel comfortable admitting. It wasn’t just a way of mindlessly unwinding after a long day of work. It became something I thought about as soon as I woke up in the morning.
I tried to stop. I deleted the app four times and reinstalled it each time within a day. I played in secret because I was ashamed of how addicted to sorting bottles of ketchup into threes I’d become.
What I needed was an alternative to the game that filled the same need: a distraction, something fun and rewarding while being pretty mindless, something to fiddle with while I watched TV. Something that wasn’t social media—the addiction I was trying to overcome with the game, ironically.
And for me, hand-stitching tiny hexagons filled all those criteria. A hexagon quilt:
- keeps my hands busy
- is mindlessly repetitive
- is fairly portable
- allows me to ‘level up’
- gives a sense of achievement
Because one hexagon turns into a whole flower, which turns into a row of flowers, which turns into a quilt.
The Mistake I Made
I didn’t plan this quilt. I grabbed some fabric out of my stash that had been sitting there since 1999, and started cutting and sewing hexagons.
Once I made the decision, the need to start became urgent.
The mistake, however, was starting it while my mother was visiting because I did not want to tell her the true reason behind the quilt. I don’t think she’d understand.
The whole point of this quilt is about process, not outcome. It’s about distraction and keeping busy with something healthier than an online game with endless Temu ads.
Is the quilt for your bed? I don’t know yet.
How big will it be? I don’t know yet.
When will you finish it? I don’t know yet.
Have you finished yet? Have you finished yet? Have you finished yet?
I haven’t finished the quilt yet. But I have gotten over my gaming addiction, which was the whole reason for starting in the first place.
So is it finished or unfinished?
When ‘Finished’ Isn’t the Goal
In her book about multipassionate people, Refuse to Choose (Amazon link), Barbara Sher devotes a whole chapter for people who “never finish anything”.
She lists reasons why a person might not finish what they start, including resistance or “becoming scared and [stopping] before you get what you came for”, which she argues we should push through.
But her main argument is simpler: multipassionate people, or ‘scanners’ as she calls us, stop a project when we’ve got what we came for.
Maybe, she argues, you’ve absorbed the lesson faster than everyone else. Or you’re a ‘designer’—someone who loves conceiving and planning, but once the figuring-out is done, the thrill is gone.
In my case, I went into making this quilt with a clear goal: to overcome a gaming addiction, not to make a finished quilt.
And I did manage to overcome it. So task complete!
If I do end up finishing the quilt, that’s a bonus.
The problem is everyone else’s expectations. They’ve decided what ‘finished’ should look like, and how success ought to be measured.
But What if You Can’t Finish Anything?
You can’t tell your boss you didn’t finish a task because you weren’t feeling it. You can’t tell your teacher you didn’t finish an assignment because it was boring (then none of us would ever finish an assignment).
There’s a difference between choosing not to finish a project in the standard sense and being unable to ever finish something. And there are plenty of times when we have to knuckle down and ship the work.
In her book, Barbara Sher shares strategies for finishing when you’re bored. Many overlap with ADHD tips, like work in short sprints, or ‘bring a buddy’, which is similar to having a body double (I’ve written before about how I use AI as a body double).
Other ideas: tackle the dull tasks first, track your progress, or invent a playful fantasy to make the work more interesting.
There are plenty of real reasons someone might struggle to finish: ADHD, perfectionism, chronic procrastination, depression. I’m not being flippant here; sometimes it’s not as simple as setting a timer and powering through.
Here’s what I mean: stopping on purpose isn’t the same as being unable to finish. And when someone criticises that choice, they’re really trying to dictate what ‘finished’ should look like.
And it’s ok—especially when it comes to personal projects—for you to decide what ‘finished’ looks like and ignore the critics.
My quilt is half-done if you measure it as a bedspread, but it fulfilled its real purpose. On that score, it’s complete.
Now it’s about the process: every stitch is a way to unwind and reconnect with the real world. When a day turns stressful, I pick it up and sew a few hexies. Rather than being unfinished, I finish it over and over again, because it’s fulfilling a new purpose as a hobby, as a meditation, as an escape.
What’s something you’ve ‘finished’ that looks unfinished to everyone else?
